Emma's Darkness
by UnderTheLights16
Summary: A short story of how exactly Emma is dealing with her darkness. This story isn't based on any spoilers and probably won't include anything on Camelot. (I haven't decided just yet) Stay tuned for the CaptainSwan.
1. Emma's Darkness

**A short story about the aftermath of Emma receiving her darkness.** **This is not based on any spoilers.**

It was nearly 3am. For two days sleep was not something she did. Two days ago the darkness had entered her. All this time she hid from her family. It wasn't because she feared their reaction to her image. She hadn't even changed that much. Except for the fact that she looked extremely tired. Yet even with this tired look Emma could feel the new surging power within.

Emma was still scared. Insecurities and rejections were not new to her. In the last two years she had gained trust and optimism, but that was all withered away now. All she felt was loneliness and sadness.

She knew that her family was probably worried about her, wondering where she was but she couldn't risk a rejection. What if they pushed her away immediately. They wouldn't want her near. They'd be scared she'd do something evil. There's that insecurity again she thought. Lately it seemed like she was fighting with herself.

A part deep inside was the old Emma and the old Emma missed her family. She looked at her phone. She had only just turned it on today. Messages and voicemails flooded in but she ignored them all. She didn't want to know what they said. She clicked the photos app. Swiping through the albums she stared at the smiling faces of her family before all this mess. She sighed. She just wanted to be with them normally like they had been before.

Looking at the photos made her even sadder than before. She went to turn off her phone until she caught a glance at her homescreen. It was a picture of her and Henry grinning with hot cocoa mugs raised in the air. Her vision fogged as tears welled up in her eyes.

Her wonderful son. How much she missed him. He was probably the one initiating the search parties to find her.

Emma thought for a moment. Henry wouldn't be afraid. When she lost control of her powers he was the one who hadn't given up and had found her first. Maybe she should visit him just to see him. Yes. That's what she was going to do.

Emma stood up. She had hid in the forest all this time but moving constantly. She started walking towards what she knew was back to the road when she realized she was the dark one now. That meant magic came easily to her now. With a a wave she could appear anywhere. So with a flick she was gone in a black fog.

She reappeared in her room by Henry's bed. However the bed was empty.

Of course, Emma thought. He was probably staying with Regina. As she turned to get ready to disappear to Henry's bedroom at Regina's she noticed the boy laying down on the other bed.

He had fallen asleep on her bed. In his hand he held his brown book that read "Once Upon A time"

The tears came back to her eyes as she watched Henry sleeping. She walked over and took the book from his hand and placed it on the night table. She then kissed his head. Sweet Henry. He deserved better. He didn't deserve to live in this messy world where he had been kidnapped, lost his father, ripped away from his family again and again. And now his mother was the dark one.

Henry always put on a brave face but Emma knew this wasn't easy for a child his age.

He looked so peaceful sleeping. She almost didn't want to wake him. She swallowed the lump she felt in her throat and shook Henry gently.

"Henry." She whispered.

Henry slowly raised his head and rubbed his eyes.

"Mom?" His eyes adjusted to the dim light and broke into a smile when he realized it really was her.

"Mom!" He said happily falling into her arms.

Emma smiled and held him tightly.

"I've missed you." He said into her shoulder.

"I missed you too, kid." She said still hugging him and not wanting to let go.

Henry leaned back and smiled at her.

"Come on. We have to wake up grandma and grandpa to tell them you're here and okay. They've been-"

Emma interrupted him.

"Henry wait. No. I only came to see you."

He was confused. "But why? Mom. They love you. They want to see you."

"I know."

"They won't say anything bad. You're their daughter."

Emma sighed. Of course Henry would try to convince her otherwise.

"Henry I'm scared."

Henry stared at her with sympathetic eyes suddenly realizing how tired she looked.

He laid his head on her shoulder.

"Alright Mom. I won't tell them you're here. I guess you probably need some time."

Emma nodded. "Thanks."

Henry stayed on her shoulder then said.

"I know there's someone out there that is going crazy without you though. More than grandma and grandpa."

Emma raised her eyebrow.

Henry continued. "I'm pretty sure he hasn't slept since you left."

 _Killian._

"Yeah." Emma said.

"You should visit him too."

"Yeah." Emma said again as it was all she could say.

"Mom. You look really tired. Maybe you should get some sleep."

Emma shook her head. "I can't sleep. I feel torment when I close my eyes."

Henry made her lay down on the bed and held her hand.

"We can deal with everything else in the morning. Just try and sleep."

Emma nodded and squeezed Henry's hand. Being here with him did make her feel a lot safer. Henry wrapped his arms around her and she placed his head on her shoulder. She put an arm around him and held him like she would have held him when he was younger if she hadn't given him up. This thought made her a bit sad but knowing that right now it was just Henry and her in the world, made her feel a lot better. She closed her eyes and slept.

The next morning Henry got up quickly.

"Mom!" He looked around the room.

But Emma was already gone.

 **Hey! Thanks for reading. Hope you liked it as I might continue this.**


	2. Emma's Darkness: Part 2

**Two months later I update. Busy with school work but I knew I wanted to continue this at least for one more chapter. Here it is.**

Emma woke up suddenly. Her heart was beating fast and it only slowed down when she saw Henry soundly asleep next to her. She looked at the alarm clock beside her bed. It read 5:18 A.M. Well at least she had slept for an hour she thought. For a moment Emma enjoyed the quietness and calmness. Then she remembered the nightmare she had just been in.

The dream had started off great. She and Henry were outside racing back home. They had stopped for ice cream along the way and were planning on what video game to play while also arguing about which game was the best. Suddenly Emma was arguing with someone else, but she couldn't tell who it was and the argument was far from friendly. Emma saw herself winning the argument...by ripping out the persons heart and crushing it.

"Why did you do that?" She saw Henry's disappointed and disapproving face.

"You're not my mother. You're a monster."

The two phrases in Henry's voice repeated over and over. But then it wasn't just Henry. Soon the whole town was surrounding her yelling "Monster!"

This is what Emma had woke up to and now she was filled with sadness again. She had to leave. She couldn't stay here with Henry and her family where she could hurt them. She didn't want her family to suffer because of all the evil things that she could be capable of doing.

Carefully, Emma got out of the bed. She tucked in Henry and kissed his cheek. She wasn't sure if she should come back to see him. Emma almost disappeared into black fog when she remembered her parents who were downstairs. She knew they'd still be sleeping. She just wanted to see them. So as quietly as she could she walked downstairs. Her parents were soundly asleep. She wanted to hug them and forget about everything but she knew she couldn't. She might wake them.

Emma noticed that her dad was holding onto something. Out of curiosity she stepped closer to take a look. It was a picture of David hugging her tightly trying to get her to take a picture with him. Emma smiled. She remembered when they took this. It was at her birthday party a couple of months ago at Granny's. Everyone was taking pictures of her or with her and Emma was getting tired. She never had so much attention on her on a birthday. She wanted to head home and relax, but her dad stopped her.

"Come on birthday girl. You're supposed to be having fun." He took her hand and pulled her away from the door.

"I am having fun. The most fun over ever had on my birthday actually, but all your excitement and attention is kind of exhausting." Emma admitted.

David made a fake offended look.

"I'm the opposite of exhausting. I'm the super cool dad that knows the real fun."

Emma laughed. "Oh really?"

David nodded. "Yeah. And do you know what super dads do?"

Emma raised an eyebrow in response.

"He takes as many surprise pictures with his daughter!" And with that her father grabbed her tightly in a hug while her mom took pictures.

"Smile for the camera at least." David said laughing.

Emma laughed too and finally looked up so Mary Margaret could take the picture that was now in David's hand as he slept.

Emma sighed. Those were such easier times. She stepped away quietly hoping her parents wouldn't wake up. She moved over to her baby brother's crib.

He was sleeping yet smiling. Emma beamed at how cute her little brother was. She moved his blanket slightly. Her hand ran over the embroidered name: _Neal_. It was almost exactly like her own baby blanket except for the fact that this blanket was not made by Granny. In fact it had been made by Emma and her mother.

"Emma? Do you want to help me make something for your brother?" Mary Margaret asked as she walked in.

Emma stopped eating her cereal and looked up.

"If we're setting up a new crib or play area can we make sure to buy one with the less complicated instructions. I mean Dad and I can handle building, it would just be you know...easier." Emma said remembering when she and David had worked through a million parts to build what was now Neal's crib.

Mary Margaret laughed. "No nothing like that. I was thinking you and I could make him a blanket like yours."

"Oh. That's cool, but I know nothing about baby blanket making." Emma responded.

"Don't worry. I'll teach you." Emma's mother said smiling happy that she would be teaching her daughter something.

Using yarn both took turns to make a bit of the blanket.

"Did you know that Granny made your blanket?"

Emma was deeply concentrated in her work.

"Yeah. You've told me before."

"Well she allowed me to do a few of the stitches and that's how I learned to improve."

Emma smiled. "And now you're teaching me."

At last the blanket was done and the only thing missing was his name.

"Would you do the honors?" Mary Margaret said handing Emma the needle.

"Me? You trust me to do it? What if I mess up?" Emma was worried. They had spent all day finishing the blanket and she didn't want to ruin it.

"You're a natural at this. I know you can do it." Emma took the needle to start.

Slowly she began to stitch Neal's name on the side. Emma was very careful and her mother watched her proudly.

"Look at that. I think someone is going to win the best older sister award." Mary Margaret said.

Later that day they showed David what they had done and he reached to get Neal.

"Let's see if he approves." He said laughing.

Neal lay calmly in his father's arms and when the blanket was brought to him he reached out for it and held it close to his cheek.

"I think he approves." Emma said.

"How could he not? It was made by the two most beautiful woman I know." David responded while placing Neal back in his crib.

Emma, now filled with darkness, longed for more family moments like that. She looked at Neal who now had his eyes open.

"Hey little bro. You're awake early."

She picked him up slowly and Neal continued to smile when Emma began to rock him.

"Shh. We don't want to wake up Mom and Dad"

Mom and Dad. Emma looked at her brother. He would be able to grow up with them. Happy. He'd never know what it means to grow up alone thinking that you had been abandoned. So far he's grown with the love of her parents that she never had. And he most certainly wouldn't be in the position she is now. This baby was lucky and all Emma had was misfortune. Her parents didn't want her. They didn't want a dark one. They could simply have such a better life with Neal. A child that they'd be able to see grow. She was nothing but a stranger to them yet here was this child that would get everything. She received nothing.

Emma gasped when she realized her hand under her brother had turned into a fist. She snapped out of her anger and jealously quickly and put down her brother. How could she think that? She never thought that. The darkness. It was taking over her thoughts. She needed to go now.

But Neal thought differently. He liked being in his sister's arms and he began to whimper.

"No don't cry. Shh" Emma said afraid he'd wake up their parents before she could escape.

Neal started crying and Emma quickly escaped.

She was back. Hidden in the forest.

Emma remembered what Henry had said earlier.

 _"I know someone that is going crazy without you..."_

Killian. Should she listen to Henry and visit him? She knew she could trust him but Emma was filled with fear. Soon the darkness would take over and she wouldn't be afraid. She would become an angry unstoppable monster.

She sat by a tree and started throwing sticks nearby across to another tree as she thought.

Maybe it was time to stop hiding. She had to trust in someone and her family most certainly would help if she would just appear to them.

Right now all she wanted to do was hug someone and feel normal again. She thought again of the person that would help her stay sane.

She flicked her hand.

The floorboards creaked as Emma walked onto the ship she had been on many times before.

"For the last time mate. I don't need a drinking buddy. Just let me be. I'd rather drink alone." Killian said without looking up.

Clearly he's had lots to drink. He hands were fidgeting with his hip flask and his eyes looked red. Below his eyes his skin seemed darkened as if he hadn't slept for days.

"You sure you don't want company?" Emma managed to say.

Killian dropped the flask. He looked up.

"Emma?" He got up from where he was siting and stumbled towards her. When he got closer he looked at her closely, eyes flickering left and right.

"Is that really you?" He said softly.

"Yeah." She said back.

Killian didn't have time to wait. His mind playing tricks on him or his real Swan. He didn't care. He just wanted to hold her so he quickly embraced her.

Emma buried her face in his shoulder.

They stood in silence hugging under the streetlights above the docked ship.

"I was worried. I didn't know if you'd ever come back."

"Come and sit." They both sat on the floor of the ship against a wooden box in the middle of the ship.

"How are you?" He asked her gently.

"Scared. Full of darkness."

Killian nodded. "I still can't believe you did it."

"I had to. I couldn't let it happen to Regina."

"Of course."

"I went to visit Henry a few hours ago. He told me I should come here."

"Did you talk to your parents as well?"

"No. I was scared."

"You don't need to be. We can -" Killian started but Emma interrupted.

"No I do need to be scared. The darkness. It's taking over my thoughts. I'm beginning to..." Emma's voice cracked and she realized she couldn't continue. Her heart was beating fast and her breaths were becoming deeper.

Killian took her hand. "Hey. Hey. It's okay. Keep calm. I'm here with you."

Emma's heart rate went back to normal.

"I'm not quite sure what's going to happen. I'm sure light will begin to disappear as I transform into the dark one." Emma said.

"Not if you fight the darkness which I know you can." Killian assured her.

"But what if I can't."

He squeezed her hand. "You will be able to. Because all of us believe in you. Henry, your parents and me."

Killian must have noticed that she still looked uncertain because he leaned closer.

"Don't worry. We'll be able to get that darkness out of you. I promise." He rested his head on hers.

Emma whispered. "I love you." Echoing the last words she said before she became the dark one.

A smile formed on Killian's face.

"I love you too." He kissed her gently. His lips tasted of rum reminding Emma in the state she had found him in.

"You need sleep."

"Aye, but all I really needed was you." He replied before slowly the sleep he had avoided for two days was taking over him. He rested his head on Emma's shoulders and within seconds he was sound asleep.

Emma moved him to make him comfortable so rather than laying his head on her shoulder, he was laying across her lap.

Emma wanted to stay awake. She didn't want any more nightmares. Instead she stared at the sky that was beginning to tint with rising of the sun and ran her fingers through Killian's hair.

But there was something about having one of her favorite people in the world sleeping on her lap, the gentle bounce of the ship on top of the water and the feel of the break of dawn that made her eyelids heavy.

 **I think I'll end it there. Thanks for reading!**


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